THE BEST JOKES

조회 수 668 추천 수 0 2012.05.06 00:19:56

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Everyone loves a joke especially a funny joke. Here are some of the funniest jokes for you all.

1.
In a school the teacher asks Johnny – “If there are 3 birds sitting on a wire and if u shoot the middle one then how many birds remain?” Johnny takes a moment and says “None !” “How?” the teacher asks. “Well if u shoot one of them then the rest of them will fly away!” replied Johnny.

2.
THE BEST FAMILY JOKE

An old couple were watching television one evening. The wife said “I am going to get a dish of ice cream”. The husband said “I will get you some ice cream”. “I’ll write it down so you don’t forget” she said. “I won’t forget” he said. “But I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it so I’ll write it down” she said. “I will get you the ice cream don’t you worry” he said. A few minutes later he returned with bacon and eggs and she said “I should have written it down because you forgot the toast”

3.
THE BEST HUSBAND and WIFE JOKE
What’s the definition of mixed emotions? Watching your mother-in-law go off a cliff in your new Mercedes! Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of “RINGS”: * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring and * The Endu-Ring!! Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters!

4.
THE BEST DOCTOR JOKE
Doctor Wong’s Diagnosis: A little Chinese boy was having problems attracting the attention of the opposite sex, so his mother decided to seek professional advice. She went to doctor Wong and asked to have him examined. — Doctor Wong told the little boy to undress and stand in the middle of the room under a bright light. Doctor Wong stood behind him and told him to bend forward and place his head between his legs. — AH! exclaimed doctor Wong. I see the plobrem..the little ferrow has Zachary’s disease. — Zachary’s disease? enquired the little boy’s mother. — Yes! Zachary’s disease, said Dr Wong……his face looks exzachary(excactly) like his bum.

Submitted by: Bob Finlay on Wed Mar 27 16:16:55 PST 1996 :

5.
THE BEST RIDDLE
Q.) An eye in a blue face saw an eye in a green face. “That face is like to this face, but in low place not high place. “What are the eyes? A.) The sun and a flower. Q.) Never dead, never living, never taking, ever giving; With us ’till the day we die, leaving with our final sigh; All feeling, yet it doesn’t cry. What is it? A.) The soul. Q.) My hunger is fed by that which I touch, But quench that “desire” and I’m ended as such. My life casting shadows on that which I feed, It is dictated by thus and ended by greed. What am I? A.) Fire.

6.
How did the human race appear?
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”
The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

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